I can't tell you how badly I want to NOT write this today. Or how I want to lie about my day today. I'd actually like to put today behind me and never have record of it again.
I've never kept it a secret that I have PCOS, diagnosed when I was 18, loads of people out there have it I'm well aware that I'm not alone. I've struggled with my weight, and other random things for the last 10 years... Well I find out that there is a new center for PCOS people, with super specialists so I booked an appointment cause I really really want to get fixed, and that day was today...
It was horrible! Any time you are a new patient somewhere you have to answer the most uncomfortable questions... are your cycles regular, do you have this issue, that issue... super personal questions that you don't even want to hear the answers to yourself. I hate answering them! HATE IT!!!! I left there an emotional wreck!
Half of the issues PCOS causes are "cosmetic" per insurance companies... Insulin Resistance causing weight gain... oh just work out... NOOOOOOOOOO doesn't work that way I can diet and work out for 6 straight months and not lose a pound. Other issues that I won't go into. My medication is not "approved" for a PCOS diagnosis as it is a diabetic medication and my diagnosis is not Diabetes so will they pay for it monthly NO, Wes sucks up the bill every month to buy my medication. Bills bills bills... that's all my "condition" seems to render... Never any positive result only $ out the window.
Hopefully, I'll get fixed... he estimates a year... which is good news to me... means by this time next year I might be willing to go to the beach and get some sun on my shockingly white legs...
I've surprised myself by writing today... Honesty, I can't tell you how badly I want to bottle this up inside and not tell a soul... and I'm not putting everything here... There are more hard to answer questions, but I just refuse to share everything with the entire free world...
Here are my photos from today...
And not too long ago it was implied by an anonymous reader of my blog that I was "greedy"... and I'm sure most of you think I live some totally Glam life... sooooo not true!!! I have paid myself $700 dollars this year in January... that's been my ONE paycheck from Jess Cumbie Photography Inc. I've paid Tara more than I have made personally.... One of the lovely extra conditions of PCOS I've gotten a loan from my wonderfully supportive husband to do that I need to pay back... so please book some sessions!!!!!!
Or, I am accepting donations to the Jess needs medical stuffins done and is broke fund :)
Just paypal your donation to jesscumbie@aol.com LOL
My bill for services to receive...
13 Comments:
Let me start off by saying that you are one strong girl! My sister has PCOS and I see how difficult it has been for her to go through different "specialists" and doctors that never seem to help get her on track. It's always something new that happens or never gets fixed or meds that just don't do what they're supposed to.
I know it's easier said than done but just hang in there, soon you'll be fixed and PCOS can take a hike! Hope you get "fixed".
You know I completely and totally, 100% sympathize with this blog entry! I keep hearing about this place and have been wanting to go to see if they can help me out. I'm sure you've been through the same slew of doctors that can't or won't help you. I'm waiting to get my health insurance, which should be in the next few weeks. I'm not even sure how much it will cover, but I haven't been able to get a yearly exam in TWO YEARS, which is NO GOOD for someone with a history of cervical cancer and PCOS. (This country seriously needs to reconstruct it's healthcare system, but that's another story/blog entry!!) But was this place worth the harsh questions to see a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel? How do you feel about the answers you got and the progress they predict you will make? Do you feel the specialists there were knowledgable and actually worth going to?
And have you checked into the $4 prescription program at Wal-Mart?! When I was on the same thing you are on, it was on the list of medications you can get for $4 (generic)!
Jackie - Thanks! it's been a 10 yr up hill battle, everything is so expensive, so annoying. And heartbreaking. It's so hard to hate things about yourself and be totally helpless. To want to lose weight, be healthier and try exercise diets and everything you can think of and your weight go now where. You just want so badly to be a normal female, I hope your sister gets a rockin specialist!! it's possible to get this thing under control it never goes away but it's controllable!
Tara - I really really love the place I went to yesterday... I met with the Dr in his office he asked me what my goals where I said I want to lose weight, be healthy, and less fuzzy... LOL which is very very common... I was due to start treatments 9/25 and he actually asked me to post pone them because once my hormones are under control I'll have a better result.. I was completely comfortable. My RN cousin told me about this place so I knew it was on the up and up... it started as the reproductive medicine place and they were seeing so many PCOS people and have gotten so many preggers and controlled they decided to start a center for people with this issue alone. That's all they do at this center is PCOS!!! there are 4 doctors and I have hope. I saw a doctor yesterday that understood my condition fully!!!! And worded things in a way that I understood, gave me stuff to read about, explained everything. He asked me to come off my meds for 3 weeks come in and get extensive blood work with no meds running through my veins... they will go over my bloodwork, determine what all meds I need, get me with a dietitian, and he said in 6mo my hormones should be under control...and he said once I have the hormones under control for another 4-5mos I can start the treatment for the other end of the issues. I do see light at the end of the tunnel.. I cried for hours yesterday having to post pone and still pay a 4k bill that's rough! The lady at the treatment center was a total bitch about it "well I don't understand why you just don't get started" BECAUSE A SMART DOCTOR TOLD ME NOT TO! Ugh! made me so angry. I'm all emotional anyway cause it's that time of the month and a half for me... lol
But anyway I would DEFINITELY recommend you go to that place! 110%!!!!
Jess, I'm so gald you posted this blog. It's funny, just a few minutes ago I saw a bulletin about PCOS. Apparently it's PCOS Awareness month. Didn't even know that existed! And it got me thinking that I need to go to the doc. As I've told you before I have it too but I've been off the meds because I didn't like the side effects. But it has been bothering me lately that there might be something seriously wrong. I'm mostly worried about not getting pregnant. But the docs I've been to don't seem to know what they are talking about. They told me that this is basically what they diagnose people with when they don't know what's wrong! WHAT? Are you freaking kidding me? You don't know what's wrong with me but you want to put me on all these meds? I'm glad you found a specialists. I was going to ask if you liked him but Tara beet me to it. lol. I think it's time for me to make an appt too!
Jess,
I have to tell you first of all that I used Dr. Winslow's office for many years. I LOVE them there. They were always SO good to me.
Second, I never was diagnosed w/PCOS, but I'm pretty sure I had it. I went to Dr. Winslow because I had to have invetro to have my children. I think then PCOS wasn't really a dianosis but rather they just said you have ovarian cysts and treated the cyst and nothing else.
As you know though, having children is a obsticle with this issue...I'm here to say that through the help of this office, not only did I get the PCOS issue under control, but I also had children. I couldn't be more greatful....especially now that I don't have more hair than hubby!:)(I know, not funny...but why not make light of a awful situation.)
I've since had a hysterectomy because I wasn't diagnosed and suffered since I was about 16 w/cysts and other issues (I'm now 36). I'm so glad that I did....I am a much happier, healthy person today.
I wish you much luck though in getting the right treatment for this diagnosis and I hope that you too enjoy going to Dr. Winslow's office. Many wonderful things have happened through them. I'm sorry that you have to deal with such hardship.....I pray that you get well.
Jen - thank you so much for sharing that with me!!! It is horrible to have more or the same amount of hair as your hubby!!! LOL I've decided to start another blog all about my journey to wellness... I think I'll start it tomorrow... I've spend the entire morning crying for reasons uncontrollable and I've got to put myself together so I can go to Orlando and have a good time at this conference...
Jess, I seriously started crying when I read this blog and everyone's response... It's because I can relate myself... I start taking Prometrium here soon as my treatment just for PCOS.
I'd like to get the info on that center from you so I can see if I can go. I also have to go to Atlanta for the Endometriosis center. I'm also looking for a place for Fibromyalgia to so if you run across any let me know.
This is by far the hardest thing I've had to go through in my life and I've been through ALOT of shit! I have an idea for you Tara & I to put together to raise money for the cause...and maybe raise money for ourselves to pay those bills! It just might work!!!! *crosses fingers*
Anywho, I feel your pain and if you ever need to talk to anyone about it, you can call me. I also have a myspace account for women w/ Endometriosis & PCOS @ http://www.myspace.com/endometriosis
check it out.
There are TONS of women on there with ALL types of female problems that are willing to talk or listen to even the nastiest of things you wouldn't dare want anyone else to hear unless they were going through it. It's nice to sit down and relate to other women who actually know what in the hellyou are going through. *BIG HUGS*
I made my name a link to the myspace profile link I gave above.
J - raising money sounds fantastic... I know that I am not alone... I'm going to start a blog about my journey tomorrow!!! I've just got too much going on today I"m about to leave for Orlando... the name of the place is on that card in the pic I posted but I"ll get you the other stuff I promise!!! We should get together and brain storm a way to raise money for all this stuff it's sooo freaking expensive!
well i am glad that your appt gave you some hope and that you like the dr..did you see winslow? let me know if there is anything i can help you with (other than $, since I have NONE of that right now)
OMG...I am in shock right now that so many people have this...I thought I was the only one!
Aw, you poor thing! I think, for me, writing it out makes it easier. Gets it out. Like taking a deep cleansing breath...
I have been put into premenapause, have an arthritic hip, scoleosis, PMDD, and have a neurologist appt this month. I learned ALL that in the last year.
I write about it. Just pound it out... *Sounds dirty giggles*
I wish you ALL the luck in the world. Keep on truckin woman!
Sarahh
Jess, maybe I can talk you into going to my first appointment with me for moral support! lol I've been through so many doctors, hospitals, operating room tables, I know I should have no shame by now! But it's still not easy when it's so frustrating and you know I really want to have children someday.
Jezz, good luck with Prometrium! I tried it for a month and a half and it made me SO SICK to my stomach. Before that I tried every type of birth control on the market to regulate my cycle and everything made me throw up but the patch, and that just didn't regulate anything for me. So then it moved on to hormone therapy. I was taking Prometrium AND Phenergan every day just to be able to stomach the Prometrium! I guess some people tolerate the hormone surge better than others, but I personally didn't have an easy battle with it.
OK Jess, I'm off your blog. ;) Have fun in Orlando WITHOUT ME!!
I know this post is way old, but I just wanted to say that yes, PCOS sucks ass. I had never heard of that center, but will be looking into it. Thanx for being strong enough to blog about it :)
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